“Grief has no timeline and never really ends because the opportunity to miss our loved ones continues until we die. So, the question isn’t, ‘When will I stop grieving?’ The question is, ‘How do I learn to grieve and live my life at the same time’?”
5 STAGES OF GRIEF
Denial • Anger • Bargaining • Depression • Acceptance
Grief (noun)
Grief is the emotional response to loss, particularly the physical loss of a loved one through death, be it a person or pet. Grief can be a response to any loss: a relationship, a job, a home, a dream, a missed opportunity, a chance to correct a past mistake, or a regret. Words and actions can also affect grief: actions implemented or actions not taken; actions, or the non-actions, of others. Grief can be the result of words spoken or unspoken. Unresolved or unaddressed, grief can create a damaging ripple effect—emotional, physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual and philosophical.
Black Mold (noun)
A fungus with spores that grows when trapped in warm, damp, dark, enclosed areas, that can trigger an allergic reaction in the immune system of those living close enough to breathe it. Unless properly treated/addressed, black mold will not die and the harmful effects can continue uninterrupted, even years after the initial spore ignites. Associated illnesses caused by black mold are often misdiagnosed, leading to a delay in returning to good health.
"Grieving is obviously much more emotional than brushing my teeth, but for me, the need to do each of them holds the same emotional charge - none. Both are simply part of my daily hygiene routine - they both prevent disease, and they both make me much more pleasant to talk to."
E pisodes
EARLY LOSSES
CHANGES BEGAN
HOW I GRIEVE
GRIEF IN REAL TIME
HEALING PERSPECTIVES
“I’ve finally established a balance and an understanding that my grief is unique and ‘mine;’ while still being open to the fact that it is universal. Grief is truly something that everyone will experience. I view it similar to a dwelling. Everyone’s home is unique and ‘theirs;’ they select paint colors, furniture, appliances, wall hangings or nick-nacks. But, most every house is similar in that it has a bed, a kitchen sink, a couch, a TV, and an oven. The same way my house functions exactly like every other house on the block, I’ve learned to manage my own, unique grief and function in a universal way.”
About
The Show & The Host
“While I do not have a Ph.D. in psychology, nor any academic credentials, I have a great understanding of grief; having gone through it several times over in my lifetime. I literally have no memory of life without loss. It took me two decades to understand that grief permeates from within; it became a very real, defining part of who I was – all because I didn’t know how to grieve. I’m sharing my story, and my experiences because I want to help others to avoid the mistakes I made. The topics discussed in the podcast are an acknowledgment of the reality of my own acquaintance with grief and I’m hoping that by sharing my experiences, I can help others.”
The "Black Mold of Grief" Podcast is an intimate and introspective embrace of show host Thomas Graves’ personal navigation of his own losses; the death of his two moms, a best friend, a nephew, a sister, and a dog that he adopted to help him through his grief.
Graves shares his personal account of the damage caused by not knowing how to grieve and the pain created, a black mold from within, that caused more damage, more pain, more grief.
Graves has two objectives for sharing his journey:
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For those new to grief, he hopes to help them prevent the black mold he created by not knowing how to grieve.
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For people like him, who didn't know how to grieve and simply locked in all their pain, Graves hopes to provide a road map to finding whatever black mold they may have, and give them some tools to excavate it.
